The First Rule of Writing: Show, Don’t Tell for the Novice Writer

 

"Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."

 – Anton Chekhov

 
“Show, Don’t Tell” is an important rule when it comes to writing your story, it is the magic technique that breathes life and energy into any story.

The single best piece of advice you can receive to become a good writer is “Don’t tell me, show me.” Don’t tell me the character is angry; show me that the character is angry. Don’t tell me that the character had a good time at the party; show me how the character had a good time. This is The First Rule of Writing.

Telling sentences tell us something. They give information but it is general, non‐specific, and often vague. They don’t involve the reader. Telling sentences are written in a dull and lifeless manner. You leave out the action, emotion, and sensory detail — all the vital ingredients that make the reader believe in your story. “Telling” is a way of communicating facts to the reader — the wrong way. The right way is to “show” information through the use of action, dialogue, and the five senses. (If you’re still confused, please read on and let me “show” you what I mean.)

Imagine yourself in a darkened movie theater. All of a sudden the screen goes black and you can hear only the sound track — the dialogue and a few sound effects. How frustrated you’d be! If the technician didn’t get the projector fixed fast, you’d get bored and leave. The same is true for writing. If you fail to make the reader see your story, she’ll lose interest, put down the book, and never pick it up again. If that reader happens to be the editor to whom you’ve submitted your manuscript, then you’ve lost a sale.

Showing sentences show us — they describe the scenes and actions; they help us see by using clear, specific details to create clear, strong pictures in our minds. Showing sentences dramatize the events of your plot. The reader experiences the story as if he’s right there, participating in the story. In his imagination, he becomes the character. A showing sentence has a different “sound” and “feeling” when you read it.

Look at the following examples: 

1) First Example
Telling sentence: Jack was afraid.

Showing sentence: As the footsteps tapped closer and closer, Jack felt his stomach muscles tighten. He flattened himself to the wall, the gritty bricks against his cheek. Sweat chilled his palms. He used both hands to steady the gun.

Telling Sentences Give Information

Notice in the “telling” sentence, we’re given information, but in a way that doesn’t involve us in any scene. It’s as if we’re sitting in that movie theater, staring at a black screen and growing increasingly annoyed by our inability to see what’s happening.

In the “showing” sentence, however, we live through the scene along with Jack. We hear the tap of footsteps. We feel the tension in his stomach, the cold dampness of his hands, and the grittiness of the brick. We see the gun in his shaking hands. We live his fear, rather than merely being told of it.

And along the way, something miraculous happens: Jack becomes a real person. Even if he’s the bad guy, we can identify with him because we experience his fear, and fear is a universal human emotion. We want to turn the page and find out what happens to Jack. This is the power of “showing” instead of “telling.”
 

The Secret to “Showing” a Scene

So what is the secret to “showing” a scene? It’s beautifully simple. Use specific details. Specific details breathe life into your story. They stimulate the reader’s imagination so he can project himself into the scene and become a part of it. By the way, watch out whenever you name an emotion, such as Jack was afraid. It’s lazy writing. The reader won’t feel the emotional impact. How much better it is to “show” the emotion through action, the five senses, and dialogue.

2) Second Example
Telling sentence: Dave thought Brenda was acting secretive.

Showing sentence: Brenda slammed his dresser drawer shut and spun around, her hands hidden behind her back. Her lips jerked into a stiff smile. “Dave! I‐I thought you wouldn’t be home until six o’clock.”

Showing Brings a Vivid Picture

The “showing” example uses physical action, facial expression, and dialogue to convey the same information as the “telling” sentence. But with “showing,” we get a vivid picture. We watch the scene as if it were playing on a movie screen.

So, “showing” makes a scene come alive through the use of details. So take a good, close look at how you present your ideas and characters. All good books touch the reader on an emotional level. You do so by giving proof to the reader — proof of how this character acts and reacts when faced by problems. In other words, you “show” the reader why we should cheer for the character or boo him. And hopefully, in the process, readers will find themselves drawn into the story, unable to put the book down.

So now you have the idea, right? We need details. We need to know thoughts, feelings; we need to see, hear, feel, smell and taste your story. Learn how to put details in your writing. Did you ever wonder why you remember the characters in a book? Or what made a story especially memorable? By combining many elements of writing, you can learn how to write good stories and essays. You have to use the senses, avoid boring dialogue, and write memorable descriptions.

3) Third Example
Telling sentence: Mary was a pretty girl, with blue eyes and blond hair.  

Showing sentence: Mary’s blue eyes glistened with joy, her blond hair bouncing with each step.

4) Fourth Example
Telling sentence: Molly is a wonderful person. 

Showing sentence: Molly is always there when anyone needs her. She’s the first to arrive with a casserole when someone is sick, the first to send a note of encouragement to those who are troubled, the first to offer a hug to anyone ‐‐ man, woman or child ‐‐ at anytime.

5) Fifth Example
Telling sentence: It was very dark inside. 

Showing sentence: I held my hand in front of my eyes but couldn’t see its outline. The walls were invisible and it was impossible to see the bottom of the steep stairs.

6) Sixth Example
Telling sentence: The pizza was delicious. 

Showing sentence: Mushrooms and pepperoni sausage were layered thickly on top of one another while the white mozzarella cheese bubbled over the bright red tomato sauce.

7) Seven Example
Telling sentence: The house was haunted. 

Showing sentence: The old house stood eerily abandoned on the hill, scaring everyone in the neighborhood with creaking, breathing noises.

8) Eight Example
Telling sentence: Eating healthy is good for your body. 

Showing sentence: The calcium in milk, cheese, yogurt, and other dairy products, the vitamins in vegetables, and the protein in meal all help to keep our bodies strong and healthy.

9) Ninth Example
Telling sentence: I was really mad. 

Showing sentence: I ran to the door, threw it open with a loud bang against the wall, and yelled, “Get in this house right this minute! You are three hours late!”

10) Tenth Example
Telling sentence: Jim was so angry that Blair was afraid.  

Showing sentence: Jim grabbed the front of Blair’s shirt and slammed him into the wall. Blair fought to breathe, his heart hammering.

11) Eleventh Example
Telling sentence: The weather was bad. 

Showing sentence: A harsh wind whipped through the trees. Dark clouds poured buckets of rain that overran the gutters and spilled onto the sidewalks.

DRAW the readers in; MAKE them a part of what is happening. SHOW the scene, GET them involved, GIVE it a dramatic impact, SHOW them what’s happening now or how things happened by painting your narrative with words. USE figurative language (similes and metaphors), dialogue and descriptive words.

A Quick Note on the Elements of Crime Writing for Novice Writers by Ryker J. Phoenix

 

A Quick Note on the Elements of Crime Writing for Novice Writers

 

by Ryker J. Phoenix

 

What is Crime Writing?

 Crime fiction, detective story, murder mystery, mystery novel, and police novel are terms used to describe narratives that centre on criminal acts and especially on the investigation, either by an amateur or a professional detective, of a crime, often a murder.

There is no one formula for writing crime fiction, but there are a few things you can do to increase your chances of success. First, make sure your plot is well-constructed and suspenseful. Second, create believable and interesting characters. Third, use strong dialogue and vivid description. And fourth, make sure your pacing is right. Crime fiction can be a very exciting genre to write, but it also requires a lot of hard work and attention to detail.

 Crime fiction focus on transgressions against established order and the specific breaking of either national, social, religious or moral laws. The focus must be on ‘Elements’ and writers need to consider the elements that is needed in a crime story.

Here are some elements and things the crime writer should consider when writing crime fiction:

• the type of the crime text itself, whether it is detective fiction, a post-modern novel, a revenge tragedy, an account of a life lost to crime
• the settings that are created as backdrops for criminal action and for the pursuit of the perpetrators of crime: both places and times will be significant here
• the nature of the crimes and the criminals, the criminals’ motives and actions
• the inclusion of violence, murder, theft, betrayal
• the detection of the criminal and the investigation that leads to his or her capture or punishment
• how far there is a moral purpose and restoration of order
• guilt and remorse, confession and the desire for forgiveness
• the creation of the criminal and their nemesis, the typical detective hero
• the sense that there will be a resolution and the criminal will be punished
• the victims of crime and the inclusion of suffering
• the central motifs of love, money, danger and death
• punishment, justice, retribution, injustice, accusation, the legal system, criminal trials and courtroom dramas, imprisonment, death
• the structural patterning of the text as it moves through a series of crises to some sense of order
• the specific focus on plotting
• the way that language is used in the world that is created; there may be use of a criminal register, legal register, police register
• the way that crime writing is used to comment on society, particularly the representation of society at particular historical periods
• ultimately, how crime stories affect audiences and readers, creating suspense, repugnance, excitement and relief.

 Want to learn more about writing crime fiction?

 

Crime Writers' Week 2023

Discover the secrets for writing, editing, and publishing a crime novel at this free online summit.

April 24 - April 27

 Ready to transform your crime writing? Join ProWritingAid for this FREE online event, featuring live writing workshops, interviews with bestselling authors like Sophie Hannah, and 20 sessions from editors and experts in crime writing.

Can't make it live? A free replay is available after the event.

Also see:

• How to Write Crime Fiction: A Beginner’s Guide
• How to Write a Mystery or Crime Novel: 8 Tips for Writing Crime Fiction
• The Oxford Companion to Crime and Mystery Writing 
• The Crime Writer's Reference Guide: 1001 Tips for Writing the Perfect Murder
  

 

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Bad Writing by Stephen King | Writing Quote

 

 Bad Writing

 

by Stephen King

Bad writing is more than a matter of (expletive deleted) syntax and faulty observation; bad writing usually arises from a stubborn refusal to tell stories about what people actually do to face the fact, let us say, that murderers sometimes help old ladies cross the street.
 

-- Stephen King

 

 About the Author

Stephen Edwin King (born September 21, 1947) is an American author of horror, supernatural fiction, suspense, crime, science-fiction, and fantasy novels. Described as the "King of Horror", a play on his surname and a reference to his high standing in pop culture, his books have sold more than 350 million copies, and many have been adapted into films, television series, miniseries, and comic books. King has published 64 novels, including seven under the pen name Richard Bachman, and five non-fiction books. He has also written approximately 200 short stories, most of which have been published in book collections. Wikipedia

Stephen King Books at Amazon

 

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Writing Mantra of the Day: On Making Mistakes

 

 

Writing Mantra of the Day: On Making Mistakes

I hereby give myself permission to produce imperfect writing, and promise not to be too harsh on myself for making mistakes.

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Writing Sensory Details for Beginning Writers

 

 Writing Sensory Details for Beginning Writers

 

Sensory details use the five senses (sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell) to add depth of detail to writing. Sensory details are details that make a person's writing come alive in the mind of a reader. They enable the author to show rather than tell the reader what is happening. These details also give voice to the narrator or the speaker who is telling the story. This means that an author uses sensory details to immerse the reader into the world of the story. This matters because readers make much better connections to stories when they feel like they are part of the story themselves. The basic definition of sensory details is descriptions within writing that provide explanations that utilize the five senses.

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Narrative Elements Explained for Beginning Writers

 

Narrative Elements Explained for Beginning Writers

 

Writing is hard. In a market where publishers and editors are critical of every story or poem, understanding the seven key elements of a narrative is more important than ever before. Regardless of your chosen genre of expertise, mastering these key narrative elements will help to make you a more successful writer.

These terms include: plot, characters, point of view, setting, theme, conflict, and style. Understanding how these elements work helps us better analyze narratives and to determine meanings.

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A Quick Note On Character Types for the Novice Writer by Ryker J. Phoenix

 A Quick Note On Character Types for the Novice Writer

 

by Ryker J. Phoenix

 

There are a number of character types that can be found in writing fiction. The three most commonly used are the protagonist, the antagonist, and the foil.

• The protagonist is the main character of the story. They are usually the one who drives the plot forward, and the reader is typically meant to sympathize with them. 
• The antagonist is the character who stands in opposition to the protagonist, and they are usually the one responsible for creating the most conflict in the story. 
• The foil is a character who is used to highlight the protagonist's traits, and they are typically not as developed as the other characters in the story.

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